Dear Faithful Companion,

In today’s modern world, the art of being a gentleman can often seem hard to find. Perhaps it is due to shifting societal values, where traditional virtues of respect, decorum, and quiet strength are often overshadowed by the pursuit of self-interest and immediate gratification. The digital age has also altered the way people interact, leading to a culture that values convenience over courtesy and fleeting validation over steadfast principles. Furthermore, the diminishing emphasis on mentorship and structured guidance has left many young men without clear role models to teach them the ways of a gentleman. Despite these challenges, the pursuit of being a true gentleman remains both necessary and deeply fulfilling. It is a journey of self-mastery, requiring continuous refinement of character, discipline, and a steadfast commitment to values that transcend time and circumstance.

George Bernard Shaw once said, “A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.” This statement is a reminder that being a gentleman is not about status, wealth, or appearance but about conduct, integrity, and the way one treats others. A gentleman does not measure his worth by material success or external recognition but by the positive impact he leaves on the lives of those around him. He carries himself with humility, generosity, and quiet strength—giving more than he receives, serving rather than being served, and leading not through force, but through example. These qualities are not always immediately apparent, nor are they as commonly taught to young men as they once were, yet they remain as essential as ever.

As an Officer in the Army, I feel the need to embody the virtues of a gentleman daily, not only in my outward actions but also in the discipline of my character. The weight of leadership demands it. An officer must be composed under pressure, resolute in decision-making, and above all, an example to those who follow him. To be a gentleman in uniform is to carry oneself with dignity and honor, to treat others with fairness and respect, and to serve with an unshakable sense of duty. It is not merely about appearance or etiquette, but about cultivating a mindset of responsibility and selflessness, ensuring that one’s actions reflect the highest standards of conduct. A gentleman-officer does not simply give orders—he earns the loyalty of his subordinates through respect, competence, and unwavering commitment to their well-being.

The company we keep speaks volumes about the kind of people we are. I find myself gravitating toward friends who share these gentlemanly qualities—men who lead with quiet confidence, who do not boast of their deeds but rather let their actions speak for themselves. These are the men I admire and seek to emulate. They are my role models, and their presence strengthens my own commitment to refinement, discipline, and virtue. In a world where much is fleeting, these bonds are built on something lasting—mutual respect and a shared pursuit of excellence.

Yet, to truly be a gentleman is no easy feat. It is a discipline that requires continuous effort. I strive to perfect myself not only in how I present myself to the world but also in my internal landscape—the way I think, the way I react, the way I grow. It is one thing to act as a gentleman when being watched, but another entirely to embody those principles when no one is looking. This, I believe, is the true test of character.

Mentorship plays a critical role in shaping these qualities, particularly in a military context. A young officer learns not only from textbooks and training but from the examples set by those who came before him. I have been fortunate to have great mentors—men who have shown me what it means to lead with integrity, to serve with humility, and to give without expectation of return. Their influence has been profound, and in turn, I seek to pass on those same lessons to those who look up to me. The chain of mentorship is not a privilege but an obligation; to receive guidance and wisdom is to bear the responsibility of passing it on. It is not enough to be a gentleman in isolation—one must strive to inspire and cultivate these values in others.

A great explanation of what it means to be a gentleman was once shared with me, paraphrased as follows:

If you see a man who quietly and modestly moves in the sphere of his life; who without blemish fulfills his duties as a man, a subject, a husband, and a father; who is pious without hypocrisy, benevolent without ostentation, and who aids his fellow man without self-interest; whose heart beats warm for friendship, whose serene mind is open for licensed pleasures, who in vicissitudes does not despair, nor in fortune is presumptuous, and who is resolute in the hour of danger. The man who, without courting applause, is loved by all noble-minded men, respected by his superiors, and revered by his subordinates; the man who never proclaims what he has done, will do, or can do, but where need is, will lay hold with dispassionate courage, circumspect resolution, indefatigable exertion, and a rare power of mind, and who will not cease until he has accomplished his work—but who then, without pretension, will retire into the multitude, because he did the good act not for himself, but for the cause of good.

This, to me, is the essence of what I strive to be—a man of action rather than words, a leader without arrogance, a friend without selfishness, and a force for good without seeking recognition.

Verbum Ultimum: Strive always to be the man who gives more than he takes, who acts without need for recognition, and who leads with integrity and grace. In a world where many choose the easy path, be the one who chooses the right path. To be a gentleman in today’s world is to embrace an ideal that is often overlooked yet never outdated. It is to cultivate discipline in the face of chaos, to show kindness where none is expected, and to lead not by words, but by example. It is a commitment not only to oneself but to the world around us.

Until next we meet, with ink as my witness and virtue as my guide.
JCB